Today, I found myself feeling bad because someone is doing better than me. When this happens, I go down a rabbit hole of self-doubt and start second guessing EVERYTHING I have worked on up to this point. But is it possible to stop comparing yourself to others?
Comparing ourselves against others starts when we’re in grade school. We learn at a young age to compete: for the top of the class, the tallest kid, the best artwork, who can run the fastest, and the list goes on. The comparison can start out innocent in the beginning, but then turn into an obsession.
I always start comparing myself against others who have been doing things longer than me. Self-doubt starts to creep in that says I’m not successful enough or I’m not doing enough. When this happens, I have to remind myself to stop making comparisons before it makes me give up on my goals. If you find yourself starting to compare where you are, versus where your competitors are, here are 3 ways to stop comparing yourself to others and focus on your goals:
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How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others:
You need to focus on why you’re doing this.
Whenever I start to feel self-doubt creep in over my goals, I remember why I started this in the first place. I have always wanted to be a writer and want to teach people what I have learned in this adult life. Through my writing, I have set out to help people find their purpose and start loving themselves. This is my driving force to keep self-doubt at bay.
In order to stop comparing yourself to what others are doing, you need to focus on what YOU should be doing. Lay out the goals you want to accomplish (I like to focus on small steps at a time, so I have a 90 Days Goal Sheet that I use). After you decide what your goals are, you need to put them up so that you can see them every day. I recommend building a vision board to see your goals (If you need help making one, check out my article here).
You can learn from the people you’re competing with.
The best way to be successful is to learn from people that already are. For me, that means researching other bloggers and taking multiple webinars to be better at my craft. For you that may mean different forms of research than me, but you should still do your research.
Some of the best resources for you is through taking webinars and joining their email list. I find most of my mentors through Pinterest and Instagram. Some are better than others. I’ve even started listening to motivational books through audio books in the car, which is easier than reading when you don’t have a lot of time. Whatever means you use to find information, do it.
Use your competition’s success as your motivator.
When you see people earning a million dollars, or quitting their jobs, or shedding 50 pounds and finally have abs, use that as fuel. People succeeding shouldn’t be seen as a sign that you’re failing or falling short. Instead, it should mean this is what you could be striving for.
Stop comparing yourself to what you’re NOT doing versus your competitor, and START realizing where you CAN be.
This is where your goals sheet and vision board come in handy. Set your mind on earning that million dollars, or goal weight, or dream job. Whatever goals you have, know they’re obtainable, because of the people you know doing it. This is your motivation to succeed, too.
I can’t guarantee either you or I won’t be able to stop comparing ourselves to others permanently. But at least with these steps, we can change directions when we start to compare ourselves and focus on achieving our goals. Stay concentrated on what matters to you and know that everything will take time. Each day you spend focusing will mean another day closer to achieving. We can do this!