In Being in the Buff, I mentioned that I’ve learned to build body confidence through self affirmation. This has helped to change my mindset for how I see and feel about my appearance. But I don’t just stand in the mirror telling myself over and over that I love my body. Phrases of affirmation are wonderful ways to increase you confidence, but there are three main life changes you should make.
Do these 3 things to help you build body confidence and start loving your body today:
Change the negativity…
Staring at ourselves gives us the option to be true critics. We notice things that we don’t like and we start complaining. “I’m just too fat.” “I need to quit eating so much.” “Why did I eat that second slice of pizza?”
Or we start grumbling about the things we don’t like. “I hate that my thighs touch.” “Ugh, my butt is so squishy and flat.” “I wish my stomach was flatter.”
However, we need to cut all of that negativity out. Our bodies are a sensitive soul and talking negatively to them will only have them think those negative thoughts as truth. As soon as you start to think something mean, stop yourself and change the dialogue.
Say what you want to hear…
In order to change the dialogue, we need to start saying things that are positive. Compliment ourselves on the things that we do love: “I love how large my boobs are.” “I love my womanly shape.” “Man, my arms are looking buff!”
Adding the compliment to things that are already true, help us to start to think positively about the way we see ourselves.
However, we still have those negative thoughts. In order to change that, we have to start lying to ourselves. In the words of Donald Trump from The Art of the Deal, if you say things 3 times, they will become true (I’m not saying lying is good but this article might help you think differently). So find that spot that you want to change, tell yourself that’s how you look now, and eventually you will start to look like that.
Example: You want a flat stomach, but you keep saying that you’re fat or you hold your weight in your stomach. By saying that, your body will start to hold weight in your stomach and continue to make you feel fat. BUT if you switch the script and say you have a flat stomach, eventually your body will start to believe it as truth (Warning: you are not a wizard. This doesn’t mean you’re going to wake up one day with a flat stomach without putting in effort. You still have to work for a healthy body through diet and exercise.). K. Aleisha Fetters wrote a really good article on the 10 Ways to Shift Your Mindset, if you want to learn more.
Make your body feel loved…
When we say negative thoughts about our body and pinch at our flaws, we feel bad about who we are. We think that if we could only change these things, then we would be happier, or more popular, or our lives would be better. But this has the opposite effect: we feel broken and depressed about who we are and the things we want to change.
This is why you need to make your body feel love. Turn to the mirror and say things like “Dang, you look hot!” or “Wow, I just love how I look today!”
We are the creators of our self-esteem. This means that we need to start telling ourselves that we are loved. Instead of hoping that other people will do it for us. And if you haven’t already, read about the Benefits of Being in the Buff. As women, we are in control of how we feel and how society sees us. So stop letting society dictate how you feel when you look in the mirror and start making yourself feel loved.